


~forever~

by mirkwood131



Series: EXO Central [23]
Category: EXO (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Blow Jobs, Byun Baekhyun-centric, Cheating, Fluff, Humor, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 07:38:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14744672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkwood131/pseuds/mirkwood131
Summary: Baekhyun is growing more and more impatient with Kyungsoo.





	1. |PART I-FALLEN|

**Author's Note:**

> i don't really know how i've got this idea for this fic, but it was pretty fun writing this first chapter  
> also, my title choices are getting worse and worse by day <_<  
> enjoy:)

The first time I saw him (which was not in fact the first time but it doesn’t matter right now), I knew that I would eventually be…fucked. Literally but not so literally too.

In both ways of this damn word.

I also knew that it was wrong to hold such…feelings for no other than my sister’s boyfriend. Soon to be her fiancée too, if I were to believe what my mom kept saying.

And this is how, during those damned 2 weeks of winter break, we had both of them over at our house, creating the perfect ambiance for me to boil in my own juice. Quite literally, sometimes, too. Especially when I was alone in my own damn bedroom, hearing the creaking noises and other freaking sounds coming from my sister’s room, as her boyfriend was probably fucking her, a couple of pitiful centimeters away from my head.

Wonderful.

Truly and utterly wonderful.

And starting exactly from the first night of them being back home. What a joke people saying that during Christmas fasting or whatever that is called you are supposed to obstinate from the bodily craps and shits.

At least I was. Not from my own damn will, of course. But in general, I was.

That was the first night. I couldn’t really sleep, to be fair and I had those strange wet dreams that made me sweat and turn around until I was falling down onto the floor; now I’m exaggerating little bit. Truth be told, I was horny. And the whole ‘fucking in the next room’ deal wasn’t helping my case.

The dude, called Kyungsoo, was nothing special in particular. At least, not the type of guy you would see one like my dear sister Irene dating or fucking. See?! Each and every time I go back to this topic. Horny.

Back to the boyfriend. Just as short as I am, with, I must admit, quite nice hair, and the best kissable lips I’ve ever seen in my life, he was still not worthy of her. From what I had heard, the whole house, except for me, was anticipating an 'oh so sickly sweet’ proposal during Christmas dinner followed by another fucking session next to my damn head.

I simply couldn’t wrap my head around the reason why my dear sweet sister would date one like him. She, as a model taking every little job was thrown at her, was taller than him. By almost 10 centimeters even, which cracked me up the first day. I laughed for 10 minutes in front of them, without telling anyone the reason. Anyways. She has great legs, great everything, great bank account, great boobs, not so great personality. My dear Irene is everything you would want in a woman.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

The second day, I eventually found out why she was dating him. Or I thought that I found, anyways.

“How’s Kyungsoo’s company doing?” my mother asked that morning while there were only the three of us in the kitchen.

I am usually only disposable quantity when it comes to their discussions anyways.

“Great. Better than last year. I can feel that he’ll propose this Christmas!” she beamed like a freaking neon light and so, I thought that I needed sunglasses.

You see, everything spins around fucking or marriage in this house. They are both quite linked too.

“He will. He has that air.” my mom said with a wink and that 'knowing it all’ kind of smile.

I couldn’t sniff any special air around him, maybe except for his rather pricey perfume.

Being the third man in the house, and the youngest too, I had an excuse to spend time with the guy. Bond with him. See whether or not he was good for my dear sister or not.

At first, my intentions were mainly pure and born out of boredom.

So, with nothing in particular in mind at the time, in their third day of the stay, I plopped myself on the couch next to him.

He didn’t say one word and I wondered once again what was keeping my socialite sister together with someone as quiet as him. And short and not muscly at all.

Maybe love, but I was certain she was not capable of anything like that.

“So…you really like the wild and the way a damn hyena eats an antelope.” I said in place of anything more…intelligent.

Most of the times I don’t act like someone with a functional brain that owns a couple of brain cells.

“I left my laptop at home so…this is the best that I could find.” he said and lightly smiled.

To be fucked!! His lips make a damn heart when he smiles!

“Oh…” it’s all that I mumbled.

Yes, I know. Smart.

“Do you like sports?”

“Like walking to the fridge?” I asked, suddenly feeling proud of myself for saying something moderately funny.

And then, he smiled again, that damn heart shaped smile and to be damned. My heart started beating faster and then the sweating begun and I was…fucked.

Quite frankly, I don’t fall in love easily. But this time it was the stupidest exception. Let’s get shit straight first. I didn’t fall in love just like that, at the snap of some fingers or the first bloom of the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in my life, but rather during the next two weeks of constantly seeing and interacting with him.

“Baekhyun!!!” I heard my sister yell at me.“

"What?”

“Get your clothes out of the doorway. You slob.” she said and I smirked.

She had almost cursed. I knew it from the twitch in her mouth and the sudden lowering of the voice.

“Well, they don’t annoy me but if they annoy you, be my guest.” I said and Kyungsoo began laughing behind his own hand.

Perfect.

“Babe…let’s go outside, in the snow.” she said instead, walking towards us.

“I’m coming too. We could go to that hill.” I said hoping that Kyungsoo would accept.

I had no hope in Irene.

“No.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“It’s-”

“You’re always such a fun buster.” I said. “Let’s go.”

And Kyungsoo actually stood up and poor Irene couldn’t say anything else. After all, she did want to get married those days.

“Where’s the hill?”

“Outside the town.” she said scrunching her nose.

She was pissed and I enjoyed every bit of it. Her ‘romantic and fuckable snowcapade’ just turned into not even a ménage à trois, because that would be incestuous, but something along those lines.

“It’s better than those hyenas, right?” I asked and Kyungsoo laughed which was a win in my mind at the time.

Funnily enough, what I had always considered as a drawback during all winters until this one, turned out to bring me closer to…well, you’ll see.

I hated slays. With a damn passion and another cry in fear. But this time, I had to do it.

“Come on, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo said with a smile.

How the heck would I be able to refuse something like that?!

“Only if you take the lead. On the sleigh. So if we die, at least I won’t be the only one and-” and then Irene kicked me in the foot and I’m pretty sure she wanted to kick me in the nuts too, but keep in mind that proposal and good impression.

“Fine.” he said and sat on the sleigh. “Come on. Hold onto me.”

So I did exactly what he had asked me without an ounce of protest, because why would I?

I closed my eyes shut and then, I screamed. Loud and probably embarrassingly close in pitch to a little girl’s one, but I didn’t care. My bowels were literally threatening to make an appearance in my throat and I knew that I truly hated hills and sleighs.

Luck has its own ways of working. The sleigh, right at the bottom of the hill hit a damn root of a damn tree so it suddenly propelled both of us somewhere in the snow, with, you’ve guessed, him right on top of me.

I’d lie if I said that I was even one bit regretting my little adventure. He was and is the right kind of heavy, just enough and not too much to really make me puke my guts out. It felt perfect, even though I had a sore ass and something digging in my back.

“You okay?” he asked, glancing down at me.

Damn, those heart shaped lips.

“Yeah…” I think I giggled like an idiot but he didn’t seem to mind.

I didn’t either.

“Get up.” he said and stood up, dragging me with him.

I actually really thought that one of those cheesy scenes in movies would happen. Maybe I’d see stars and sparkles in his eyes and he’d just realize what a catch I truly am. What I saw was a fucking snowball getting dangerously close to my fucking face until it stopped into my right eye. Bye-bye moment. Hello blue eye.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

This is how that afternoon caught me, with a chunk of frozen meat on my eye since that snowball had been quite…frozen.

I was less than pleased. My wonderfully pretty face was botched and I was even ashamed to look at him in such a state.

I mean, it’s not like I could really look at him with only one functional eye filled with shame. That was for nothing, honestly.

But, anyways.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

The fourth day was Christmas day, the freaking holiday that I hated with my whole heart. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t have a straight answer, maybe only the fact that everybody around me seemed to like it, so, in consequence, I just had to despise it.

So, I got everyone an ugly ass Christmas sweater, bought at the Dollar Store (who would have thought they carry something like that?!), in the same too big size for everyone. No discrimination in this house.

They were nicely placed underneath the tree, with all the other gifts. Maybe I felt a little bit embarrassed. Or maybe a little bit more, thinking that Irene’s boyfriend wasn’t actually a dumb Hulk and 5 sizes smaller than the fictional thing.

In the morning, when we were gathered around the tree, they had somehow decided to open mines first. Great!

“A sweater!” my mother said with a smile that suddenly disappeared. “This is…really…”

“I bought it from the Dollar Store.” I told her because there is no point in pretending that I had actually tried.

When I glanced at Kyungsoo, he was actually barely suppressing a laugh which made me burst out in laughter which made him burst out in laughter too.

Irene was totally petrified, probably because her annoying little brother was getting along with her boyfriend. Extremely shocking, I would dare to say.

To my extraordinary surprise, Kyungsoo actually wore the damn stupid sweater for the entire day, drowning in it but looking strangely handsome in that horrible shade of red.

The nights were all the same, but this one, I had adopted a different battle tactic. Ear plugs.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

But on the sixth day, something happened. I was sitting on the couch, watching a movie on TV, when my best friend came.

Sehun. Tall, handsome and not the smartest bean in the basket. Nevertheless, I utterly enjoyed his company, especially in situations like this one.

Fairly, I’m not certain what drove me to act warmer and clingier when Kyungsoo was around; but it was obviously working, since he was becoming a light shade of red in an instant, especially when I was more than inappropriately grabbing and touching Sehun’s legs and arms.

Sehun didn’t say anything. Maybe he even guessed my motives.

“Whatever you are doing…” he said to me in the doorframe, when he was about to leave, “it’s stupid.”

“I’m doing nothing.” I shrugged.

“I know you.” Sehun said.

He did know me since we had been toddlers.

“It’s nothing. Just kids’ play.” I said because that was in fact at the time.

And after all, anything that would have annoyed or angered Irene gave me immense satisfaction.

Being the eldest of the two of us, the smartest and more successful idiot of the house, of course my parents had always preferred her spoiled ass.

“Baekhyun! Close the door! It’s getting cold in the house!” and that was her irritating voice.

“Fuck off!!” I yelled back at her.

Once, when she had been 15 and me 11, we had gotten into a fight. One that had ended up with me holding a good chunk of her hair in my fist. I don’t know how I had managed that, but since that point, nothing had been the same between the two of us. And neither had been her hair.

My parents had sent her to university in damn New York, as I was still back at home, in Port Chester, studying at a whatever college. Let’s just say things hadn’t been fair.

Lack of money my damn ass.

Anyways.

After Sehun had left, I returned to my couch to hold a pillow in my arms and actually watch some damn hyenas chase another antelope.

“And you were laughing at me.” Kyungsoo said and he actually sat down next to me.

Breaking news.

The proposal was still unseen.

“Maybe I like Animal Planet.” I said.

“Sure-sure.” he laughed.

“Sure…” I laughed too and glanced at him.

“So…that friend of yours.” he said and I knew what was about to come.

“Just a friend.”

“There’s no shame in-”

“I don’t like him.” I said with a smirk.

I was playing on unstable territory. So unstable that I knew that I could get my ass burnt really badly.

“But do you like somebody?” he asked and then I shifted closer to him.

“Maybe.” I said and bit my lip.

I know. So cliché; blabla. Well, it sort of worked because he turned the same light red color and I knew that I hit the jackpot.

“Oh…” he whispered.

“I like somebody…but it’s complicated.” I whispered too, because why not?!

“Why?”

What was that? Mouse and cat chasing game? Maybe.

“Because…” I said with another smile and I came even closer to him, “he is with someone else.“

That was quite a bomb.

"Oh…” is all that he said but I didn’t get mad.

Because, in all honesty I had no idea what I was doing or wanting from my stupid game. At that time, I didn’t think it would go that far, more so remain with the status of a little playful game born out of boredom.

“I’m bored…” I said, almost leaning on his shoulder.

“Let’s go outside. In the snow.” he said and suddenly, grabbed my wrist and pulled me up.

We quickly put our winter coats on and then my grey beanie that made me look 5 and we were out. I actually thought that we would play outside the house but he got into the car so I followed him inside without saying anything.

No word, no single damn word to Irene or my parents. This made it feel like an adventure, wrong but good at the same time. We were doing nothing bad, in fact, so why was I feeling this guilty once again?

He stopped the car on the hilltop and then I saw that it was beginning to get dark outside. We made a few steps on the snow but we quickly gave up, so he just pushed me down.

Snow angels.

That’s what we did that whole hour, without even talking, just wiggling our arms and legs around until we both started shivering.

And when I thought that he will just drive me home, I was proved wrong. He stopped the car in front of a café that I had only been there once.

“They have kittens to pet in there.” Kyungsoo smiled.

“I know. Wouldn’t Irene get mad if…”

“It’s alright.” he said.

Well, it was more than alright, actually.

Maybe I could see why Irene liked him or chose to date him, even though it wasn’t her type. Her type had always been tall, well built and positively idiotic and moronic. And with a small dick. Like their brain.

Kyungsoo was the opposite. Suddenly, as he was scratching a kitten between her ears and I was drinking my hot chocolate, I felt jealous. That sort of jealousy that leaves you feeling sorry for yourself and weirdly, in the best and worst way possible, good. How was she so lucky and I wasn’t?!

Alright, maybe I am a jerk sometimes and I don’t act like I give a damn about anybody, but nonetheless. I deserve something good.

“Baek. Can I call you Baek, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, right.” I smiled.

“Are you alright?”

“Just thinking. I don’t do that too often.” I said and he laughed.

Damn, that laugh.

“What were you thinking about?” he asked with the same heart shaped smile that started making my heart beat faster than usual. I blame it on the weather.

“The truth or not…”

He laughed and shook his head. “Truth.”

“That lady over there.” I pointed out to one in her thirties, standing next to a man at the table. “Her husband has been flirting with the waitress for half an hour now and she does nothing about it. Also. When I was 15, I masturbated on Irene’s bed and I didn’t change the sheets.” I said.

Well, two truths but not what I really was thinking about.

“What?” he laughed for an entire minute. “And how did she react?”

“Told my mother about it.” I shrugged. “Do you love her?” I asked.

“What?”

“Do you love my sister?” I asked.

“Yes. I do.” he said.

Well, I might have fucked it I thought. Wrong question.

“We should go.” I said and I stood up.

Suddenly I was in no mood to hang out with my sister’s boyfriend and think about how my life sucked.

“Are you mad?!”

“And why would you care?” I said and left the place.

Well, I’m not the easiest person to deal with.

“Baekhyun!” I thought I heard him yell at me but then the wind was blowing quite heard and with the hood on, I couldn’t hear anything. The thing is, it wasn’t like in those stupid movies when he runs to you or drives so slow for kilometers just to be next to you. He didn’t try to follow me.

I got home past 11pm, drenched and sad and guilty and probably ashamed.

“Where have you been? And not answering your phone either!!” my mother yelled at me exactly when I entered the house.

“My battery died.”

“Kyungsoo told me you’ve just left.”

“Well, I did not become invisible too, did I?” I snapped. “He could have stopped me.”

But he hadn’t done that because he is supposed to get married with my sister.

Well, that went terrific, hadn’t it?

Back in my room, I threw all my clothes on the floor and quickly got into the shower. I rubbed my sad little dick for like…30 seconds and then I came and that was that.

I couldn’t really fall asleep that night but I didn’t use ear plugs either. But the sex was noisier than before. Especially my sister, who resembled a damn goat singing opera. Not really opera. Maybe just a fucking cat in heat on a sticky summer day. At least he was quiet.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

The next morning was worse than usual.

“Maybe he’ll propose almost when you leave back for New York.” my mother told my sister in the kitchen, not very shushed or discreet.

“Maybe…did I get my hopes too high? But we’ve been dating for 4 years and in the last couple of weeks he’s been…” she shrugged and I felt like laughing, which I actually did.

“When did you appear?” she asked.

“I’m spying.” I said. “Maybe the fucking is lame and that’s why he doesn’t want to marry you.”

“Baekhyun!!” my mother almost yelled.

“It’s the truth.” I shrugged. “What’s for breakfast?”

“You are 20. You could make something yourself.” my mother said.

“But why should I?” I asked. “You still cook for dad. Or is it because of the fucking?”

“Baekhyun, watch your tongue.”

The thing is, I wasn’t a bad kid. I only said the worst shit in the worst times, only to piss people off. Like in the kitchen with my mother and sister. But in rest, I was decent, mostly quiet and the one who had always got decent grades.

“Fine. Then I’ll starve.” I said, but I took the box of cereal from the cupboard anyways.

Most of my day was spent on the couch, eating cereal and watching random documentaries on Animal Planet or Discovery. Or maybe some cartoons too. I did not dare to ask for real food and then, maybe I could have had the chance to see Kyungsoo.

Second day of Christmas my damn ass.

Around 5'o'clock, when I suddenly realized that I might actually die from this much sugar intake, Kyungsoo came. With real food.

“Here. It’s pasta, so eat it unless you want to get sick.” he said.

Right then, he kind of resembled an adult.

“If it’s made by my mom…”

“I made it, so eat.” he said. “Irene told me about your outburst.”

“Oh, great! Now gossip spreads like the plague in this house.”

“Stop being dramatic!” he laughed and sat down next to me.

He pushed the plate in my hands but I refused it. I had a better plan. In theory.

“Feed me.” I pouted.

“Stop acting childish.” he laughed.

“I’m dead serious. Feed me.” I said with another pout.

“Fine.” he huffed but I was certain that he enjoyed it. “Open up you big baby.” he said.

And I did, but it seemed like for his first try, he was terrible.

“You’ve almost killed me with a damn fork, Kyungsoo.” I said.

“Sorry. Then eat yourself.” he said.

“No, it’s fine. Just…be more careful this time.” I said.

And he was indeed.

I would have really wanted Irene to see us like this. But she didn’t.

“Thank you.” I grinned.

“About yesterday.” he coughed.

Oh damn.

“What about yesterday?” I asked.

“If you-”

“Just drop it. Thanks for the food.” I said.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

The next day found both of us all alone at home. My sister was out to do her posing in front of a camera for some overrated brand and my mother and father in town to see some relatives.

I was bored out of my damn mind.

“Let’s go see a movie.” I told him.

“What movie?” he asked.

“Whatever.” I shrugged.

“Whatever?” he asked much later when we were already in the car.

How much I had whished that it was a damn date. To be fair and square, I had never been on a date before. Not being into girls didn’t help so much either. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done my fair share of shit with guys. But never too much to the point of feeling guilty, maybe only used sometimes. I’m not lucky.

“Romantic comedy?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I hate those.”

“Superhero movie?”

“Romantic comedy then.” I said and he started laughing.

The theatre was almost empty, so we took the seats in the far back and started laughing at a commercial.

“So…this might sound like an idiocy.” I said but he shushed me, placing a finger on my lips.

“Let’s watch the movie.” he whispered and along the lines, in the darkness, he intertwined his fingers with mine.

That was one hell of a fucking shock.

And for those two hours, we held hands even though mine were getting sweaty. It felt like a date, after all, without a kiss and everything that follows it.

When we arrived home, everybody was already there, waiting for us. Irene was sweeter than usual to Kyungsoo and me, sweeter to him, anyways. It made me gag and that time, I was so jealous in the worst way possible. Maybe I was going insane, but it felt like she was doing everything on purpose, to spite me that she actually had him and I didn’t.

Well, he did hold my fucking hand, didn’t he?

And then, the days passed and I started sleeping with ear plugs once again; I was avoiding Kyungsoo at all costs. He wasn’t much guilty of anything, maybe only of leading me on. But I must admit. It was so damn boring so maybe he was just bored too.

4 days after our little cinema escapade, late at night, when the entire house was sleeping, he came to the living room, where I had moved my central residence. Closer to the kitchen and the TV. Far away from those noises.

“Can I sit?” he asked me.

“Sure.” I said.

“Are you angry with me?” he asked.

“Why would I be?”

“Well, for starters, you’ve been avoiding me.” he said and I laughed.

“Well, my sister still waits for you to propose to her so…” I said and looked back at the TV.

“I know.”

“Good.” I said.

And then, I felt the blanket lift up and fall back on me. This time, he was right next to my body, under the cover and it came as no surprise when his hand found its way on top of mine.

“Tomorrow I need to go to work. You could come with me.” he said.

“Sure…”

“Is this alright?” he asked as he intertwined our fingers and came much closer to me. We were practically shoulder to shoulder; he was so warm and suddenly, I could smell my sister’s perfume on him.

“My sister is upstairs sleeping after you fucked her well.” I said.

This was getting wrong and I knew it. And I wasn’t sure how far I actually wanted to take it at all, because, as much as I didn’t like Irene, I cared about her in my strange twisted way.

“Did you hear?” he asked.

I turned my head to the side and gulped down. Was that turning into a damn porno by the minute?!

“Every night.” I whispered, taking my hand away from his hold. “I need to sleep.” I said.

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be.”

That night I kept the TV on some stupid cartoon marathon. I vaguely had the fear that somehow God, that I had never deigned to believe in, would punish me. Suddenly, he had become quite real.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

In the morning, it seemed like the entire house knew that I would go with him to his workplace, even Irene, who seemed entirely pleased with the idea.

I was not.

He was dressed in a deep navy suit and a white shirt and to be honest, he looked different. Irene was all over him and I thought that maybe she had a kink for something like that. But then, I needed to erase so many images from my mind.

“You ready?” Kyungsoo asked me like nothing had happened last night.

I didn’t answer, I just walked outside and waited for him by the car.

“Come on. It’s going to be fun.” he said to me like a father would say to his 5 year old son, taking him to the doctor.

Going to the doctor is never fun.

Kyungsoo let me stay in his office and sleep on his fancy leather couch, without even waking me up. When I eventually woke up, it was dark outside and I was even more tired than that morning at 6.

“Ready to go home?” he asked me.

“Sure. Will you tell them that…”

“Only if you want me to.” he said.

“I’d rather not.” I said.

“We could go to a spa or something.” he said after a while.

“What?”

“Go to a spa. Relax for a while.” he said.

“We should go-”

“I called Irene and told her I have more stuff to do than expected. Come on. You’ll like it.” he said.

I didn’t oppose against his idea any longer. He brought me to the fanciest hotel I have seen in my life, and only sitting on the damn floor would have been heaven for me.

But the spa was even better. Since 10 I had developed a massive crush on hot tubs.

And this had one hell of a hot tub. As I found out rather quickly along the way, this was an ‘all naked’ kind of spa, which meant that I was about to see Kyungsoo’s dick. Which I didn’t, because we both had a towel on before we got into the hot tub and then I felt like melting, so nothing really mattered anyways.

“This is the best thing of my life.“ I said at one point.

"I’m glad.” he laughed.

To my surprise and at the time, disappointment, he kept a safe distance from me. I drank some champagne that I couldn’t read its name and I stopped thinking about everything. The warmth was good, everything was good with him right next to me. I’m certain that I could have kissed him that day and maybe even more. But I didn’t.

There was still that conscience at the back of my head shouting at me that I’ll go to hell for this.

Back at home, nobody questioned our prolonged absence, not even Irene. She was acting just the same towards him and the same towards me, even too nice and sweet. From my life long experience, I knew what that meant. She wanted something from me.

And what she wanted I found out the same night when she came into my room.

“How is that you two aren’t fucking like rabbits at this hour?” I asked her, attempting to act as uncaring and douchebag like as possible.

“Very elegant.” she huffed, leaning on the door frame. “I want you to…be as subtle as possible with something.”

“I won’t try to find out whether or not he’ll propose to you.” I said.

“Baekhyun.”

“No.”

“Please. You cannot be this selfish.”

“Maybe he doesn’t like you as much as you think he does. I don’t, for the matter.” I said.

Somehow, I really wanted to hurt her. With no purpose or reason in mind. Just because she was vulnerable.

At 16, she had been the first one to find out that I liked boys. Guys. She had arrived home and had yelled it all out to my parents.

“I don’t care about your opinion.” she said and was about to leave when I said what I said, without even thinking.

“Have you thought about that he might have found someone else? Someone better than you?” I asked and smirked afterwards.

She just left and then I suddenly felt bad.

That night, I didn’t hear any noises. It was quiet and somehow it made me feel uneasy.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

“Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo said as he sat on the bed next to me.

We were once again all alone in the house. Irene was with mom shopping and dad at work. She hadn’t spoken to me since that night; for 2 days, to be exact.

“I think Irene-”

“Please don’t talk about Irene. Please.” I said because I still felt guilty and what was to say?

That I screwed it up big time?

“If it’s about the damn proposal-”

“It’s about the damn proposal.” I snapped.

“I wasn’t going to propose to her in the first place!” he almost yelled. “Where the fuck did that come from?!”

“How would I know? She just thought that after 4 years of fucking and living together you’d want to actually marry her. What would I know?” I said because what did I know in fact?!

He sighed and threw himself on my bed, staring right at the ceiling. So, I laid right next to him and stared at the ceiling too, suddenly thinking about how I could make my sister hate me less.

“Just tell Irene that you love her and that you see eternity in her eyes.” I said. “That’s what grandpa used to say to her. She’ll like it.” I said and then, suddenly, I felt him hovering over my body, his breath hot on my skin.

Well, this is complicated.

“Okay…” he whispered over my lips and then he kissed me.

It was short because I pushed him away.

“Fuck off!” I said and jumped to my feet. “Fuck off!”

Well, screw it!

He didn’t say anything else and so I ran away from the room.

I fell asleep on the couch. In the morning I woke up with a blanket covering me and I just like to think that he was the one who had done it. Irene was in better spirits about me and everything; she was even talking to me which made me feel even guiltier about what I had done the past week.

Damn! Only one fucking week and I screw everything over like that’s my job or something.

Kyungsoo tried to talk to me a couple of times but I pushed him away, at least for the first three days. But it was pretty damn hard, especially when on the fourth of avoidance, my parents made me go with him to work again. Gain experience. See whether or not I’d enjoy working in the field.

As it turned out, Kyungsoo didn’t have in mind taking me to his office. He took me to the hilltop once again.

“What? Can we go home now?” I asked him.

“Stop being so st-“

"Stubborn? Stubborn because I don’t want to help you cheat on my sister?! Ha! Your fucking logic is impeccable.” I said.

“You pushed me to do that.” Kyungsoo said, grabbing my wrist.

“I was just playing. That’s all.”

“I am not.” he said and then, I bent down and threw some snow in his face.

He somehow grabbed me by the middle, turned me around and we both lost balance and fell in the snow.

“Kyungsoo…” I whispered.

Was I this terrible of a damn person?

“Get up! You have snow all over you.” he said.

Fuck to my romantic snow moment. There’s nothing romantic in any of this anyways. How can I accept the fact that I’m attracted to my sister’s boyfriend?!

“Kyungsoo.” I said, stepping closer to him.

“Huh?”

“Break up with her.” I said.

“Baek…”

“Well, then you are a fucking cheater. And you make me one too.” I said.

“4 years…that’s some time, right?” Kyungsoo said.

“Maybe…” I shrugged.

“Hey…look. I’m not a cheater. I’ve never been. But you make me feel different.” he said.

“And that’s exactly what every damn cheater said to every damn wife, girlfriend and mistress. Spare it!”

“Baek…”

“Spare it!”

“Baek. Until I break up with her I promise that our relationship will only be platonic.” Kyungsoo said. “I promise.”

“Fine.” I said. “If you’ll ever break up with her. I’m just new and…a shiny new toy for you.”

Well, right then, I was certain of that. That I was nothing more than a little sexual escapade that would cut a little bit the routine.

“It’s not true.” he said.

And that was that and somehow, to my growing and growing surprise, he kept his distance. So much so, that I thought that he had already forgotten about me.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

Until the bomb news came.

Right on the day before their departure to New York, my mother came into my room with a dead ass serious expression on her face and I was certain that she had found out about me and Kyungsoo.

Wrong!

“We have decided that it might be good for you to live for a while in New York. Of course, with Irene and Kyungsoo, but nonetheless, that would be a great learning experience for you.” she said and I almost fainted.

Well, that’s kind of shitty, isn’t it?

I think so myself especially when I have no viable reasons to refuse. What?

“Mom, I had almost cheated with Kyungsoo on my sister. We actually did cheat. Kind of. So…I don’t want to live with them.”

Yeah, that would totally be great!

So…New York, here I come!

 

 

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The best blow job I’ve ever gotten was in the back of a Ford Fiesta, right at midnight, exactly on my prom night. I actually didn’t really go to prom. Counting those 15 minutes spent in that smelly room crowded with people, well, I didn’t really count them as my prom night. What counted for me was what followed it. In fact, I only went to get my mother of my back, as Irene had won the title of the shittiest shit at her own shitty prom. Instead, I was going to win something even better.

What really matters are those other 245 more minutes spent in that car, somewhere outside the city.

Correction. That used to be the best blow job. Just over 8 months ago, that was the best shit of my life.

But right now I’m with my pants on the floor, heavily breathing, after the best blow job of my life. And maybe it was in fact mediocre but the person sure isn’t in fact, in my mind, at least.

But let’s rewind a little bit, back to the first day of me moving to New York with my sister and her boyfriend.

I was less than excited to be fair. My life dream, coming true and I could only feel dread. And only because I fooled a little bit around with someone that I shouldn’t have.

Damn you, conscience!

Anyways. They gave me the spare room and life went on. Kyungsoo was still strong with his promise, so much so that I was actually beginning to think that maybe everything was over. Not that it was actually something in the first place. But I felt relieved and annoyed at the same time.

Luckily, this apartment had thicker walls, so at night I couldn’t hear a thing coming from the other room. I was regularly going to school back at home, commuting for 2 hours in the morning, 2 hours in the evening, so fairly, I didn’t see him that much anyways.

On the weekends I was actually doing some intern bullshit in his firm. Making some excel spreadsheets and learning how to do actual accounting.

I was being taught about it in school, but I couldn’t say that I was particularly bright at it.

Everything was going smoothly, until my sister had to leave for Las Vegas to do a photoshoot. You guessed what that meant: leaving Kyungsoo and me all alone in the apartment.

But there was nothing to be worried about, right?!

Right.

First day alone. Nothing extraordinarily happened.

Second day.

Nothing.

Well, in the third one, stuff had changed. I had no classes that day so I was free to just lazy around the apartment for as much as I would have liked.

Kyungsoo came around 5, dressed in his suit and smiled at me.

“What would you like to eat?” he asked.

“Pasta…maybe?” I said, not really bothering to look at him.

“You can help me.” he said.

“I can’t even hold a knife properly.” I said.

And I really couldn’t.

“Come on. I’ll teach you.” he said with another smile, so I stood up and walked towards him, in the kitchen.

“So…” I whispered.

“You can cut the mushrooms.” Kyungsoo said.

“I’ll cut my fingers.”

“Don’t be such a baby.” he laughed. “Come on.”

He grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me closer to the kitchen table.

“Kyungsoo.” I whispered because why not?

It might have fit in one of those sickly romantic comedies, only that mine wasn’t really a comedy. Only an extremely bad case of almost cheating as an almost revenge on my sister. Why?! God knows, but sometimes…I’m stupid.

In that moment, when I had finally grabbed his full attention, I could have thought about a million stupid things: the way his lips would feel on mine or how big his dick really was or anything like that.

But what I was thinking about was something that had happened 4 years ago, when swimming in a damn lake, a dog had chased me for 15 minutes. It had almost bit off my toes, but luckily, somehow, I had made it to the shore in one piece.

So that’s what I was thinking about.

“Baekhyun?!” he almost laughed and touched my arm.

And then, still thinking about that stupid chase, I kissed him.

Oh, well, isn’t that fantastic?

But he didn’t even try to stop me, push me away or anything that someone supposedly in love with another person would do. He just answered to my kiss and that time, his tongue slipped inside my mouth and licked alongside my lips and everywhere.

Fuck, was I screwed.

And from there, I had no self-control or shame. Even that dog just evaporated from my mind. All that I could think about was my throbbing dick in my freaking loose pants and about how nice it would be to get a blow job.

Maybe I wasn’t thinking straight.

No, I’m certain. I wasn’t. Not at all.

So I grabbed him by the neck and somehow, I walked with him towards the couch like that, and we both fell right onto it; with him on top of me, the same pleasurable weight pressing me down.

“Blow me…please.” I mumbled.

I was 19, not even 20, and horny as hell.

And he did blow me and that was the best blow job that I could have ever received from someone.

And during its 4 minute run, I didn’t think about anything. Actually, maybe about how I should clean my shoes or the fact that his mouth was so damn warm. But that was that.

“Fuck…that was…” I grinned.

“Yeah…” he breathed out and kissed me on the lips.

It tasted like shit, but I let him do it anyways. I felt like I was in love.

And then, Irene came back, and we both returned to our mutual indifference; I was ignoring him as best as I could, but at night, I could only wonder whether or not he was still fucking my sister.

I didn’t ask him about it and he didn’t say anything about it either. When Irene was gone for 2-3 days, we would lock the door to my bedroom and do all sorts of things. Sometimes, we would just sit on my bed, stare at the ceiling and talk none sense. So much none sense, that not even after 2 months of knowing him, I didn’t know him at all.

In the meantime, I was still patiently waiting for Kyungsoo to break up with her.

Somehow, in those 4 weeks, I had grown closer to Irene. And that was rather unfortunate.

“I got you something.” she said one night when she came home from work.

She was also working at a local fashion magazine as a part time something, all besides her modeling job.

She pulled out a plastic box with what seemed to be a figurine inside of it. A Star Wars Millennium Falcon scale replica, exactly like the one our first and last dog chewed to small pieces. For the longest time, I had thought that Irene let him do it.

“Oh…geez. Thanks.” I said.

“I saw it in a thrift store and I thought about Marty and how pissed you’ve been that month.” she said with a smile.

“Yeah…it’s…nice. Thanks.” I said, turning the box around. “Thanks.”

“Yeah…you’re welcome.”

I didn’t understand her sudden need to get closer to me after all this time. But it was certainly making things harder as Kyungsoo was showing no signs of breaking up with her.

But I was patiently waiting.

And waiting.

Then another weekend came when we were all alone in the apartment. And another until the third one.

“Kyungsoo…” I said to him as I was laying on his naked chest.

“Huh?” he asked and kissed me on the lips.

“I kind of need to know.” I said.

“What?”

“When will you break up? With my sister. This…” I whispered, glancing at him.

Suddenly, I’m not sure what was going on with me, I felt dirty, and so, I just covered myself with the blanket.

“It’s not that simple. But soon.” he smiled.

Well, that’s what he had been saying for almost 3 months.

“Like…in?”

“Soon.” he smiled and kissed me again.

“Then, this cannot happen until then.” I said.

“Baek…”

“Break up with her and then we’ll see.” I said and I stood up, dragging the blanket with me.

“Don’t be like this.”

“It’s called cheating.” I said. “It’s wrong and…I don’t really want to burn in hell that much.”

We haven’t talked to each other for nearly a week after that. I was devastated or that’s what I thought that I was feeling.

And anxious and kind of sad and guilty too.

So I did the worst thing or best thing that I could have done. I am yet to be certain about that little thing.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

“I have been fucking your boyfriend-neah; that sounds like crap.”

I shook my damn head and then, I started once again to pace around the room. Who would have thought that confessing to your sister that you are the worst brother on the planet is that hard?!

Anyways.

There was a knock on the door, then two knocks and finally, I opened it.

“What?!”

“Baek…please…don’t be like this.” Kyungsoo said to me like I was the one being unreasonable.

“How am I?”

“Impatient…”

“Well…in the meantime you’ll even end up marrying her but still saying that you’ll break it off soon enough.” I said and then, suddenly, he shut the door close. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Well, he was obviously doing whatever he wanted, because he pushed me backwards, towards the wall until I hit it, and kissed me so hard that I yelped.

“Stop it!” I said and I pushed him away.

“Be quiet. Irene is in the kitchen.” Kyungsoo said.

“So, let her hear!!” I yelled.

“Baekhyun…”

“You are a damn coward! Coward, you hear me?”

“Stop it. Please. I know that I should have done something about it sooner…much sooner but-”

“Just say it that all that you wanted was to have a little bit of fun before freaking marriage. I’m not the one being unreasonable. You are.” I said.

Well, screw it with telling my sister about whatever. She might as well hear all the shouting coming from my room.

“You are being unreasonable right now. What does a 19 year old know about-about-”

“Oh, so that was it about. Because I’m younger than you-”

“That’s not it…” he sighed and turned around.

“Then what is it?” I asked.

He didn’t say anything else so I just threw myself on the floor and stared at the ceiling.

“I’ll tell her myself.” he said and walked out of the room.

“Well…fantastic!” I thought.

2 minutes later, I heard the first yell coming from my sister. A thud, maybe a door being shut close, another yell and then maybe his voice, but I couldn’t be sure.

The door to my room opened and then my sister came in.

“Get up and pack. You are going home right now.” she said.

I had never seen her this angry ever before; maybe it was the look in her eyes or the fact that she hadn’t yet broken into tears; maybe that made her look more serious and frightening.

But I did as I was told. No one said one word as she was watching me take the suitcase from underneath the bed or throw all my clothes inside of it.

“Get a taxi or something and then…” she said but didn’t finish the sentence.

“Irene.”

“You have no right to talk to me right now, alright?” she said and then I saw that she was shaking.

Her fingers especially as she tried to lean on the wall.

“You are not feeling-”

“Get out of here until I do something terrible.” she whispered.

Oh, well, my plan wasn’t to get murdered by my own sister after all. So I left.

I did not see Kyungsoo anywhere, maybe he had already left, but I was in no mood to see his face or actually talk to him.

On those 2 hours back home, I slept. That seemed like the best solution to erase that drowning feeling I had in my chest. I suppose it had been there the whole entire time, but I had attempted not to pay any attention to it.

The worst part was knocking at the door. Waiting for my mother or father to open and then to stare blankly at me for a couple of seconds before shouting.

Irene must have called and told them about my cheating.

I knocked and waited.

“Baekhyun! What are you doing home?!” my mother asked.

So Irene hadn’t told them.

Well, I wasn’t the one to do anything irresponsible as admitting something terrible anyways, so I had just made up a lie that would make me feel better about everything.

The next 2 weeks that came, I could barely sleep or eat and each and every time the phone rang, I thought it was my sister, ready to tell my mother everything.

But that phone call had never come. Instead, something even more shocking happened. Something that almost made me puke my guts out.

“I have fantastic news!!” my mother squealed at the table while the 3 of us were eating.

“What?”

“Irene is finally getting married.” she said.

The food got stuck in my throat and I could barely breathe.

“When did you…”

“An hour ago she told me. My little girl getting married to the love of her life.“

Well, that was shocking.

Now I truly wonder what Kyungsoo had told her in fact. No sane person would get married to one that cheated on her.

But my sister was the exception and I was the only span of evil.

Love of her life. What a joke.

The wedding came faster than I would have thought, 4 months after the ‘proposal’ and of course, I was obliged to attend.

Irene was actually rather beautiful but each time I saw him, I had to look elsewhere. At one point during the night, I caught her alone in the women’s restroom.

"What are you doing in here?!” she snapped at me as if I were only a stranger.

“I want to talk to you.”

“I have nothing to talk to you.” she said.

“How-h-why did you marry him?” I asked, walking closer to her. “What did he say about me and him?!”

At first, she kept a blank expression and I was certain that she would just walk past me and not say one word.

“You’ve been trying to seduce him-” oh, the way she spit those words-“during all those times I was away from work. And that at first he thought it was only…I’ve never thought that you’d be so cruel.” she said.

Oh, well. No, I’m the only black sheep.

“You could have asked me too about what happened. I mean…do you trust him-” but then she walked away from the bathroom, leaving me alone.

I knew that my sister was not the brightest bulb and I cannot say that I’ve been a saint, but I wasn’t the only guilty one after all.

You know, I’m not really a good person. A good person would have tried to make the truth come to the surface, would have helped my sister get out of that marriage. But I didn’t. She wounded me in my pride so I wanted to see her suffer in the end. That, what Kyungsoo did, was not a first and last time thing.

Maybe I felt guilty, but the injustice made by Kyungsoo to me somehow managed to erase my own guilt. So I felt calm and indifferent.

I am not really that good of a person after all. Not totally, at least. And after all, I might have never cared about him anyways.

Who knows?

Not me.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and feedback are loved:)


End file.
